Updated: Mar 5, 2020
So I would like to introduce Cam again to start talking about how he took hold of his position in life and moved towards taking action. I am personally interested in having an insight more into what life was like growing up and going to school and managing daily tasks all the way through Cam’s life so far with Cerebral Palsy and we will cover these details in a Podcast which will be created in the very near future (Watch this space!)!
But for now, let’s fast forward to closer times, relating to how Cam progressed to building his body awareness and strength.
“A fresh start”
So, I’ve covered the early parts of my life, now for the fun part!
Aged 23, the life I had led came to a pause, a time for reflection. After getting out of a really dark 2 year-long situation, I found myself one day, on the sofa, my wheelchair placed next to me, wondering how I had gotten myself into such a bind! Not just in this particular situation, but throughout my life. I looked through all the memories of failure, regret and how it had all shaped the man I had become.
I just stared at my chair and as I analysed my past, I realised that this thing I stare at, though not the cause of my problems, but a factor none the less, had shaped my life in a negative light. So I asked myself there and then - why had I not done anything to deal with this obstacle?
It was at that exact time I detached myself from this inanimate object; indifferent as to whether or not it was good or bad, regardless, it was influencing peoples expectations of me as a human. People’s views of me were almost pre-determined because of a wheelchair. It stopped some people from seeing how “normal” my life was, no matter how much I tried to show them, or tell them, some were not able to grasp how able and capable I was and still am.
To blame others was easy! How blind I had been! The realisation was becoming so clear.
I found myself the originator of my suffering. Although yes, I was impacted by the judgement of others, at the end of the day, it was my responsibility to react rationally and in a way that would benefit me rather than hindered me. A life lesson.
After 23 years of my being, I felt I had no success in most areas of my life, but I had 60 odd more years left and what was I going to do about it?
All these other thoughts came flooding in: How would I look after my family as they get older? How can I expect anyone to love the man before them? Let alone understand what I sit on and its purpose…
I had all this time left, enough time to fix my mind, fix my body, create a family of my own, earn enough to live and feel comfortable, then when I pop my clogs, I can do so feeling proud!
So after all this, I began to work on a plan! A plan to remove all the things that served no purpose and try to build a better version of myself.
Though it may seem I started with my body and many may assume that to be the case, actually…it all began with the mind.
Step one was to take all the judgement, all the assumptions and all the views people had towards me and my condition and turn it in to fire, fuel to do what was required!
“Find the originator of your suffering and realise, it is often just your own reflection.”
Though not all suffering is our own fault and suffering itself has a scale, like most things I know I personally will often allow the internal turmoil to impact me far more than the events themselves and I urge that if you come to this same realisation, it will not lead to any good.
(A little insight into the progress Cam goes on to make...Cam OWNING the chair right here!...NOT the other way around after so many years!)