As I have gotten older, my memories of childhood have become fragmented and in some cases one big blur.
But I guess I will start with my earliest memory: standing in my frame, arguing with my Mum and my Physiotherapist about not wanting to do my exercises and just wanting to play on the PlayStation.
From this memory, the part that stands out the most, is not the need and want to be ‘normal’, or the lack of discipline (yes I still hold myself accountable for the stuff I did at that age), but instead, my mum telling me all the things I may miss if I did not do what was needed.
Biggest lesson learnt: what you do every day (be it good or bad) shapes your future, in body and mind.
And so…it went on like this for many years; me kicking and screaming, throwing tantrums, which ultimately led to my mum giving in to my strops and after that, i got my way. I didn’t continue with Physiotherapy, aged roughly 6 (I really can’t remember the exact time frame…but there or there abouts).
I was still required to have surgeries though, which may have led to minor improvements without rehab, but i fear that due to my self-destructive outlook on life from this age, the results were not as good as they could have been.
Understand that it was not just childish behaviour that got me in the spot that i was in, but the stigma attached to my condition and my appearance which was judged by others.
You all must know that i do not blame others for how I am. My choices were my own. However, humans are tribal and seek acceptance for the most part. I guess my thoughts at the time would have been “let us not be outcast by others, let it be by our own hand”.
Safe to say i f***** right up!!!!!
Saying ‘f*** everyone who wants to point and comment’, may well have been along the right lines, but seriously; if i had just soldiered my s*** and got it done, so much mental and physical damage could have been avoided. Hindsight and all that!
On the topic of surgeries, I don’t have much to say apart from having 6-12 weeks in full cast, eating a tonne of jelly cubes and being left with two scars on the backs of my legs from hamstring lengthening (Which you can hopefully just about see in this image below).